3 Realistic Steps to Overcome Self Doubt as an Actor

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED

I was busy with my to do list one day when a thought suddenly crept into my head. My stomach tightened when I let the words form fully in my brain. I had no idea why this thought was suddenly bothering me. "You're going to age out of the roles you want."

I typically don't dwell on insecure thoughts. I push through them by focusing on my goals. Seemingly out of nowhere, I couldn't push through this one. It kept creeping into my mind, sneakily causing me stress.

If you've ever wrestled with how to be a more confident actor, then keep reading to find out what I did to deal with my specific insecurity so that you can address yours as well.

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or medical professional of any kind. I'm simply sharing my personal journey about dealing with a specific issue. Please do not consider this information medical advice.

HOW TO BE A CONFIDENT ACTOR TIP 1: DEFINE THE INSECURITY

Walk through this exercise even if you consider yourself a confident actor. It's better to think about this now than let it sneak up on you while you're in an audition or on set. You never know when someone will say something that hits just the right nerve.

Sit and think about what's causing a knot in your stomach. Finish this sentence: "I get a knot in my stomach concerning my acting career when I think about _____________."

How would you finish this sentence? Remember, no one else ever needs to know your answer. What's the harm in being honest with yourself about it?

The harm for me was admitting that I did care about the ridiculous status quo of women "aging out" of certain roles. Now, obviously, an older woman isn't going to pass as a someone in high school. That's reasonable.

I thrive in challenging environments, so admitting (even to myself) that I had this insecurity meant that I was actually allowing unreasonable assumptions to affect my thoughts and emotions. Everyone has insecurities, though. The difference between an actor who is controlled by them versus an actor who isn't is whether or not they address them.

You may already know what's bothering you, but I want you to actually say that sentence out loud to yourself so that you can hear it.

INSECURITY VERSUS INSIGHT

Insecurity will create a host of other negative, unhealthy emotions. Be on the lookout for panic, negative self-talk, doubt, and worry. If you feel hopeless about a situation, that may be an insecurity talking to you. Feeling hopeless may also be a sign that you should seek professional help to talk through your thoughts.

1. insecurity [ in-si-kyoor-i-tee ] noun : lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt

2. insight [ in-sahyt ] noun : (in psychotherapy) the recognition of sources of emotional difficulty

Insight, however, makes you feel confident that you can create a plan of action to make a change. It's recognizing that something is out of alignment with your plans. You'll feel empowered to brainstorm solutions or eliminate obstacles. 

HOW TO BE A CONFIDENT ACTOR TIP 2: IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER EVENT

Now let's address why this specific issue has presented itself in your life. I'll share my story to help you brainstorm. 

Growing up, I read teen magazines like Seventeen or Teen Vogue. They had articles on rising stars or breakout actors. For whatever reason, I always remembered those actors being 24 years old.

I don't know why. I don't even know if that's true or if that's just the number that got stuck in my head, but it solidified this idea that I must become a recognizable actor by age 24 or it was game over.

So now ask yourself, "What moment made me start thinking this?" Was it:

• an article you read?
• something someone said to you?
• a video you watched?
• an interview you heard?

What one thing is your brain telling you absolutely must be true for you to be a successful actor? When I read celebrity actors' stories, it's clear to me that there is no one way to be successful in this business. Their paths were all so different!

HOW TO BE A CONFIDENT ACTOR TIP 3: ADDRESS THE INSECURITY DIRECTLY

You've identified your insecurity, and you've pinpointed what made you believe it in the first place. You still need to change your thoughts about it.

Start looking for actors whose careers negate that insecurity. I just mentioned that not every famous actor had the same path to success. That means you have a lot of options to pull from.

For me, that meant looking for women who are older than 24 that have booked action roles. Um, helloooo!

• Helen Mirren in RED
• Basically all of the Amazon women in the Gal Gadot Wonder Woman movies.
• What about Rebecca Ferguson in Mission Impossible?
• Jaimie Alexander in Thor
• Danai Gurira in Black Panther
• Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels
• Emily Blunt in Edge of Tomorrow? 

I'm sure your brain is thinking of a million other women that are older than 24 in kick-butt action roles right now, and that's my point! Once you start looking for stories that negate your insecurity, you'll realize how many of those stories exist.

TAKE ACTION

I think there's a lot of benefit to processing this information with pen and paper and a trusted friend.

PROCESS WITH PEN AND PAPER

1. "I feel a knot in my stomach about my acting career when I think about ___________."
2. This is an: insecurity/insight.
3. What do I believe absolutely must be true for me to be a successful actor?
4. What moment or series of events made me start believing this lie?
5. Which actor has a story that negates this belief?

PROCESS WITH A TRUSTED FRIEND

"Can we chat about an issue I'm having? I'd like your insight. I'm feeling insecure about (state the insecurity). I'm not exactly sure why I feel this way. I think it's because (list potentially related events). I'm trying to think of which actors have a story that's contrary to that belief. Can you think of any?"

FIND YOUR PEOPLE

I'm gonna bet that there are other actors out in the world that have the same insecurity as you. Whether we realize it or not, those negative thoughts are infiltrating every scene that we do and causing us to "hide." 

If you're feeling brave right now, I'd love for you to comment and share what insecurity is bugging you when it comes to your acting career. The only way for you to know that you're not alone is to start sharing your story. You may inspire another actor that really needs to hear your story.  

Do you know what else made me feel insecure for years? My skin. Changing my diet solved a majority of my problems. Learn my tricks as a Certified Nutrition Coach. Click here to start today for free.